Posts in Self development

What’s the purpose of this?

Self development Writing August 22, 2022

I was having a discussion with one of my good friends when I asked him for his thoughts about a new idea that I have.

Before entertaining this conversation, he asked me, “What’s the purpose of this?” In other words, why am I doing it? What do I want to get out of it?

I opened up and started talking about my WHY—which completely changed the dynamic of the conversation. The conversation was extremely exciting, and our brainstorming was so fruitful— utterly different than what I thought it would have been.

And that was one conversation.

What is the fear of other people’s opinions costing you?

Self development August 2, 2022

I was talking to Sally (not her real name) when she told me she didn’t want to start doing what she loves because she is scared of what other people would think of her.

I relate because I’ve been thinking like this for a long time. In fact, sometimes, I do.

But then, when we think about the implications of that fear, we see how much we leave at the table.

I asked, “so what if someone thinks something bad about you?”

She said, “ I don’t want to hear or read a negative comment about what I create. I only want appreciation.”

I get it. Who doesn’t want appreciation? We all do. Don’t we?

How to make the “right” decision using Holographic Thinking

Self development July 19, 2022 1 Comment

I recently went to a leadership training and came across an interesting take on decision-making called Holographic Thinking, which opened my mind to a new perspective I wanted to share with you.

If you know me a tiny bit, you know that I am a huge fan of the pros and cons list when making a decision. I even take it to a whole different level, with levels of satisfaction for each item on the list, and assign a percentage of how important that item is to me. I make a scientific formula out of it. Yup, that’s me. I am a nerd.

So… if you are a bit like me and like to be objective and rational when making a decision, you know that sometimes your heart is not into that logical decision even if it makes perfect sense. But then again, I like to inject logic into it so that I can justify it to myself again and again, for days to come and sometimes months and years to come.

Knowing a thing or two about human psychology, I know that we make decisions by our hearts (emotions) and then justify them by logic. And if you’ve made purely emotional decisions in the past, you know as well as I do that they could lead to very interesting outcomes of their own. Some might refer to them as disastrous.

And so I try to find the balance between logic and emotion. Which one should win?

Resistance: The secret that stops you from doing what you really want to do

Self development July 29, 2021

If you are a creative person, chances are you have read “The Art of War” by Steven Pressfield. And if you didn’t, you might want to give it a read.

Art and war? How would these two come together?

The reason Steven Pressfield associated art with war, is that internal struggle. Yes, there is a war, but not with the external world. It’s from within. It’s from within us.

Steven Pressfield explains how resistance keeps us from doing the things that will elevate our souls.

“There’s a secret that real writers know that wannabe writers don’t know. And the secret is this: it’s not the writing that’s hard. It’s the sitting down to write—and what keeps us from sitting down is Resistance.”
-Steven Pressfield.

Do you focus on the future or in the present?

Self development July 14, 2021

We shall find the balance between seeing the “big picture” and being in the “present.”

It’s true. We could only be fueled by vision when it’s in sync with our values, which could only happen when we take a step back and look at the “big picture.”

But then, the “big picture” must be removed from our conscious. Because when we only focus on it, we tend to think about the different possible “future scenarios.” And we won’t be able to get ourselves off the thinking track of “What if? What could be? What’s possible?”

Focus and trust the process

Self development July 10, 2021

All the time in the world won’t help if you can’t focus, especially when you know what you can do when you are focused.

When we can’t focus, we tend to procrastinate and undermine our capabilities. What we used to do can’t be done anymore, and what was never attempted doesn’t even seem possible. We can’t get ourselves to do the work because we don’t “see” the point.

But there is something about showing up. You drag yourself, sit and say, “Hey, I am ready now,” only to find yourself numb. Then, you doubt yourself, “Is it even worth it to show up again?” You tell yourself, “Trust the process,” and show up again. The second time, you are still not focused, but you give it a try. It sucks, but it doesn’t matter. You tell yourself, “What is this sh*t?” Then, you pat yourself on the shoulder and say, “Hey, at least I am doing something.”

The worst advice I have received: “Stop writing.”

Self development June 5, 2021

The worst advice I have received: “Stop writing.”

I got that advice from a best-selling author who wrote multiple books and a very successful blogger. I looked up to her and thought, “Only if I could have my blog be as impactful as hers one day,” followed by a sigh and then by following her advice.

Her intent was genuine, she shared what worked for her, and perhaps even if I followed her exact footsteps, I would have had the same results. She meant well—that I know. The idea was not to stop writing because writing is bad, but she wanted me to take a step back, do the customer research that I can’t emphasize how much is important, set a strategy, and then, only then, I would start writing. I fully agree with her, and that’s the kind of advice I would give as well.

Blame it on design, not the people

Consumer Behavior Product design Self development Service design April 26, 2020

It’s usually fairly easy to point out fingers at people, and say, “You should have done that”… or ask “Why didn’t you think of that?

That is so damn easy.

Studies have estimated that 90% of industrial accidents, workforce accidents… were blamed on human error!

Did you hear that?

Learn how favor banks can help you influence others

Book Reviews Consumer Behavior Self development November 15, 2019

The favor bank lingered with me.

If you are a millennial, then there is a high chance that one way or another, at some point in your life, you were influenced by Paulo Coelho.

I am a big fan, and I remember during my adolescent years how much I was obsessed with his novels.

One of the concepts mentioned in
one of his novels, The Zahir, is the favor bank concept. That concept has been lingering with me since I read the novel.

The favor bank concept explains how favors are exchanged. When you deposit favors to someone’s bank, they become indebted to you, and so when, in return, you ask them for a favor, they will have no choice but to accept it. Otherwise, you will not be trusted, without you saying a word about them.

Amazing negotiation and persuasion tricks to try right now

Book Reviews Consumer Behavior Sales skills Self development September 20, 2019 3 Comments

One of the top needed skills for the job market in 2019 is negotiation skills, persuasion, and influence.

LinkedIn: The Most In-Demand Hard and Soft Skills of 2019

Forbes: The Skills You Need To Succeed In 2020

… and what a better way to tackle this, than making the best of my favorite subject of consumer behavior?
Consumer behavior is the study of how consumers search for, choose, buy, and use your products or services.

Consumers are people. Whether you influence them to buy your products or services or influence them to buy into your ideas, you can more or less follow the same concepts.

Persuasion and influence could be one of the hardest tasks anyone can be assigned to. Some people are skilled, while others are left dazzled, not sure what could be the next step they can take to improve in that area.

I know. I know because I bet you are a bit like me and face this situation every single day — at work or in social settings. After all, I am a nerd, and well, I did study software engineering. This is quite far from negotiation skills if you ask me.

Read: Learn how consulting changed my life

The good news is negotiation skills, persuasion and influence can be taught. Yes. Some people think that only the born talented are the ones who can exceed in that area, but I beg to differ.